In my experience, Tinder is way ahead of Grindr. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve come across some pretty nasty guys on both, but because Tinder is connected to social media accounts and shares mutual friends as well as interests, it’s way less anonymous – which makes it easier to find genuine guys.
What makes us swipe left or right? Everyone assumes it comes down to the right kind of picture. While yes, it helps, what happens after we swipe right? What makes us interested enough to want to get to know him? If you ask me, there are a few simple things that will help:
Are you here to find love, get laid, or have more friends to call and grab a happy hour with? We can usually tell by the way you present yourself – are there more shirtless photos than there are of your face? Are you sending one-word responses like “Hey” or “Sup?” When we’re dealing with a guy who expresses who he is and what he’s looking for, it makes us want to do the same. Show us you’re looking for a long term relationship or dates without seeming too desperate. Something like, “I’m hoping to find someone to wake up and have coffee in the mornings” shows us what you’re looking for without being straightforward about it. If you portray yourself as a horny idiot, we’re going to wonder why you aren’t on Grindr.
Think of it as a candid headshot, rather than the main pic for a RentBoy profile. Show us your eyes, face, neck and a bit of your shoulders – no more! We don’t want to see you make an ugly face or weird side-lip fish face. Let the first picture be the real YOU. No bathroom pics or selfies. The first picture ought to be a candid, fresh, and inviting image – not forced. It needs to make us think you’re good-looking in a genuine way, not a superficial one. Basically, a photo you yourself haven’t taken on a selfie stick.
It doesn’t matter if you don’t have the body of a supermodel. You need one picture that shows your zest for life – it can be you hiking, kayaking, on the edge of a mountain with your arms high, or even at the top of a tall building in your city overlooking a view. Another one should be one that shows you’re book smart, or at least are interested in learning – could be reading a book, in a library, at the museum, whatever. Make us wonder what it is you’re thinking about. That’s sexy.
No one knows us better than our best friend. They see us in an objective way, more so than any of us can possibly imagine. It’s always a good idea to ask him or her some great qualities you have, and show them what you wrote down so they can see how it comes across. The things you say aren’t always interpreted the right way, better safe than sorry.
Steer away from making us think like you’re super depressed, lonely or in need of validation. It detracts us from seeing the best you we can possibly see, which, in an app as quick as Tinder, is the most important thing. Keep it up without changing your signature spunk. Sarcasm and joking around are good – but try not to be self-deprecating.
I know you think it’s a good idea to show us how much fun you are by posting pics of you with a beer in your hand, drunk, with friends. But keep an air of mystery when it comes to your nightlife. We want to know about you, your personality, and the air you give off to the world – not how many times you’ve won beer pong.
It’s true that gay men with puppies get so much attention. Go out for a walk and notice how many times you stare at the hottie with a leash – the same can be said for Tinder. The second I see an attractive man holding a dog, he’s always going to win.